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 Celebrities We Hate, and Why. 
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Postby keesfl » Sat Mar 22, 2008 8:57 pm


Kitt 5000, you swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of
filth. As they say in Texas. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot
with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go
away.
I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm
deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a
weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a
revulsion,
a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly
with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this
world.
An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the
puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in
recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species
as
you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought
of
you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are
vile,
worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this
earth. And did I mention you smell?






You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its
beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly
briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of
your
ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own
trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty
and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus.
Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are
unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that
reality forgot.

And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements
of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you
hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more
weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle,
waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no
rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of
a
leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and
senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling
meatslapper.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient
in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You
are
dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all
unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You
grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish
foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless
crook-pated
tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey
poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You
gob-kissing
gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted
clapper-clawed flirt-gill.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate,
noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise
everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how
incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard
stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a
whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid.
Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have
collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape.
Singularity
stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in
one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your
writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this
stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big
bang
of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything
else
as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go
on.
This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you my not hear from me
again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your
ignorant
questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the
rest of this drivel. Duh.

The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. Maybe later in life,
after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have
more
success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal"
people
take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we
sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who
find
these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then
I
would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort
of
like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the
emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on
you.


P.S.


You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly,
deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent,
opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted,
racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic,
insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous,
byzantine,conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious,
splenetic,
spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb,
evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative,
paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic,
diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive,
dim,
crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim,
unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive,
mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive,
socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good.

In other words, go away and this time stay gone.


Selma Bouvier

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Sat Mar 22, 2008 8:57 pm
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Postby Emma Frost » Sun Mar 23, 2008 8:02 am


That's a mighty fine verbal beatdown keesfl, but Who or what is Kitt 5000?


Kate Langbroek: Painful to watch and hear. Her seemingly disfigured face is hard enough to listen to on radio.
Also responsible for unleashing her 'children' onto the TV, the lesser clones of herself- Bianca Dye, Jo Stanley, that other chick from before the game, or is that Jo Stanley? Meh.

Rob Sitch: Beacause I've not been exposed to him recently I forgot how much this guy annoys the crap outta me.
Constantly smarmy, always talking over peeps, this dickhead thinks his jokes/stories are funny/insightful.
You can tell by the way he laughs at them.


Barney Gumble
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Postby Franger_Mat » Sun Mar 23, 2008 10:29 am


I loathe Kate Langbroek. Spot on.

Rob Sitch, spot on. Though in fairness some his D-Gen and Late Show work was pretty funny. He is a grade-A certified pretentious self-important twat though.


Strike me down, because I'm about to commit treason and will have ppl lining up to punch me in the face.


But Dealta Good-rim. :roll:
Not even her hits by numbers 8 year old girl music. She just annoys the crap out of me.


Rod Flanders

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Postby SKaVeN » Sun Mar 23, 2008 3:41 pm


Yeah, I'm not a Delta Goodrem fan. In fact, I'm not in favour of any cloning experiments that involve Celine Dion. I think one's bad enough.

The thing about Delta, I think, is that when she went public about her illness, she went from being someone who only the kids who watch Neighbours & the teeny-bopper hit parade, to someone who who anyone who wasn't living under a rock knew. Everything she did or said from then on was within the first few pages of every newspaper.

When they had the ARIAs that year & gave her just about every single award they possibly could. On her live coverage the Triple-J correspondent said it was the most blatantly patronising display she's ever seen at an awards ceremony.

Speaking about things I hate about awards shows, did anyone else think the Oscars awards ceremony they held after the September 11 thing was a load of crap? Even more than usual? Everyone said that their new discovered patriotism would prevent them from letting any of their main acting awards go overseas so how could they do that in a way that they wouldn't dare be criticises? Easy! Patronise a minority group & give them the awards. The African Americans. Inducting Sydney Poitier into the hall of fame was a good thing but should've already been done YEARS ago!

Denzel Washington was great in training day so not too many issues with that but, although I think he's a complete tool, Russell Crowe's performance in A Beautiful Mind was more deserving. (But he shouldn't have got it for Gladiator.)

And giving best actress to Halle Berry in Monster's Ball over Judi Dench? What was that all about? I saw that film on a free ticket when it came out & we all thought she was awful! And that hospital scene. Talk about over-acting. And what did the world's best actress have lined up as her next venture? A Bond girl & then Catwoman. What a laugh! And that acceptance speech got at my wick too. Two perfectly manicured tears coming evenly out of eyes that weren't even red & a nose that was still dry. Gee, no bad acting there either then. Hey, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she was genuinely touched about receiving an award the day after she ran down a pedestrian in her car & drove away...

Actually, why do we need to have award shows in the world? These people get paid obscene fees to do what they love doing. They're the most indulgent & hedonistic people in the world. And once a year we give the limousines, fabulous dresses & jewellery to wear, personal goody bags worth tens of thousands, just so they can publicly pat each other on the back & tell each other how wonderful they are. It's not like they're helping people in famine, diseased or disaster struck nations, surgically repairing the faces of deformed babies so they can have a normal life, pulling people out of burning buildings, etc.

Nah, I can't stomach award shows. There's something that just doesn't sit well with me & that year whatever last bit of credibility the Oscars had just went right out the window.

Emmykins, I have to say that I'm actually starting to come in here & having a rant with people who I know understand where I'm coming from. It feels good. Thanks! :D


Ned Flanders
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Postby SKaVeN » Sun Mar 23, 2008 4:46 pm


And while I'm on the case of those self-righteous do-gooder A-list Hollywood stars, the ones that really irk me are the ones who decide that the next thing they want is a charity names after themselves, so they pick everybody's favourite charity of the week & suddenly seem to be an expert about it.

Why do they even need to set up a public charity fund? Why don't all these A-listers just get together with their own surplus of billions of dollars & use that to solve the problem themselves? Because, if they did that, they wouldn't be able to set up their own charity which they can be the star of using their own name & face on every opportunity, make television programmes about it (starring themselves), have pictures of themselves in newspapers & magazines dressed down & with a sad look on their face holding a starving child, get on their soapbox on chat shows & have their own seminars & functions where they are the guest of honour. Not to mention all the humanitarian awards & public adoration they pick up for themselves on the way.

Something about it all just doesn't seem right to me. Almost like they are using the plight of those who are less fortunate in the world to feed their own publicity machine...


Ned Flanders
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Postby locky1 » Sun Mar 23, 2008 4:53 pm


bloody hell SkAveN war and peace


Ned Flanders

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Postby SKaVeN » Sun Mar 23, 2008 5:11 pm


It's Cheese & Whine, Monster. It can be a lot of fun when you get into the spirit of it. Quite therapeutic actually. :lol:


Ned Flanders
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Postby locky1 » Sun Mar 23, 2008 5:15 pm


nah mate my crownies are the only therapeutic thing I am into


Ned Flanders

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Postby Emma Frost » Sun Mar 23, 2008 7:37 pm


SKaVeN wrote:
It's Cheese & Whine, Monster. It can be a lot of fun when you get into the spirit of it. Quite therapeutic actually. :lol:


Good to see your finally warming to the place. :D


Barney Gumble
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Postby Crockle » Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:31 pm


SKaVeN wrote:
Actually, why do we need to have award shows in the world?


Answer:

SKaVeN wrote:
They're the most indulgent & hedonistic people in the world.


SKaVeN wrote:
they are using the plight of those who are less fortunate in the world to feed their own publicity machine...


I just can't wait until Madonna's and Angelina Jollie's children - the ones stolen from Africa - reach their teenage years and decide that they need plastic surgery so's they can look more like "Mum & Dad".


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