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 by HumphreyBBear » Thu Feb 27, 2014 12:45 am
A man received the following text from his neighbor:
"I am so sorry, Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess.
I have been tapping your wife, day and night, when you're not around.
In fact, more than you! I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse.
I can no longer live with the guilt, and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.
If you want, I will pay you for the services."
The man, mad with rage, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife dead.
A few moments later, a second text came in: "Damn auto correct! I meant 'wifi', not your 'wife'."
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HumphreyBBear
Otto Man
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2005 7:45 pm
Posts: 781 Karma: 85.51 (667 thanks)
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| Thu Feb 27, 2014 12:45 am |
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by atefooterz » Sat Mar 15, 2014 9:06 pm
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atefooterz
Santa's Little Helper
Joined: Sat Nov 22, 2003 2:34 pm
Posts: 13946 Karma: 190.76 (26604 thanks)
Location: #nowhereman
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| Sat Mar 15, 2014 9:06 pm |
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by Blastoise » Tue Apr 29, 2014 5:13 am
various
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M 1536x1070 232
M 1094x1536 237
M 710x1024 257
M 1128x1536 236
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Blastoise
Barney Gumble
Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2001 4:59 am
Posts: 352 Karma: 140.06 (493 thanks)
Location: 2086
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| Tue Apr 29, 2014 5:13 am |
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by offwork » Tue Apr 29, 2014 6:12 am
 ... Yesterday morning I bought two cases of beer on sale at the Bottle shop... I placed them on the front seat and headed back home... I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump... Although it was very cold she was wearing a very short skirt and a light jacket which was wide open... She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window... With her bra-less breasts almost falling out her skimpy top she said, in a sexy voice "I'm a big believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?"... I thought for a few seconds and asked "What kind of beer 'ya got?"...
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offwork
Bernice Hibbert
Joined: Thu Aug 03, 2006 11:46 pm
Posts: 1998 Karma: 309.16 (6177 thanks)
Location: Brisbane
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| Tue Apr 29, 2014 6:12 am |
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by wolverine » Tue May 06, 2014 1:00 pm
This has got to be one of the funniest headlines ever
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wolverine
Capo Bastone
Joined: Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:26 am
Posts: 3969 Karma: 340.74 (13524 thanks)
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| Tue May 06, 2014 1:00 pm |
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by Macc » Thu May 08, 2014 10:14 pm
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Macc
Milhouse Van Houten
Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2004 5:28 pm
Posts: 1637 Karma: 44.62 (730 thanks)
Location: A small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse
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| Thu May 08, 2014 10:14 pm |
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by phunkyfeelone » Mon May 12, 2014 10:23 pm
Gold. I've also seen one with it's finger up saying "I don't give a f*ck what your family looks like"
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phunkyfeelone
Martin Prince
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2004 2:59 pm
Posts: 3324 Karma: 240.13 (7982 thanks)
Location: The Land of Chocolate
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by Macc » Tue May 13, 2014 12:02 am
Like this?
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Macc
Milhouse Van Houten
Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2004 5:28 pm
Posts: 1637 Karma: 44.62 (730 thanks)
Location: A small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse
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| Tue May 13, 2014 12:02 am |
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by kirkbright » Fri Jun 27, 2014 10:09 am
Nowadays, after a disastrous divorce, a couple of failed defactos, with the kids grown up and gone away, and the dog consigned to the big kennel in the sky . . . as a single man I'd still like to have the 'family' stickers for the rear window of the ute . . . but, despite the constant searching, I'm buggered if I can find a sticker of a blow-up doll . . . . 
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kirkbright
Carl Carlson
Joined: Sat Jun 14, 2008 6:57 am
Posts: 542 Karma: 22.12 (144 thanks)
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| Fri Jun 27, 2014 10:09 am |
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by offwork » Sat Feb 14, 2015 8:14 pm
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offwork
Bernice Hibbert
Joined: Thu Aug 03, 2006 11:46 pm
Posts: 1998 Karma: 309.16 (6177 thanks)
Location: Brisbane
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