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 Vote #1 - Franger_Mat 
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Postby Franger_Mat » Sat Mar 15, 2008 9:07 am


Its beer o'clock. Its somewhat thirsty here at the moment.


I thought that was going to be a man swallowing a huge glass dildo, one of the benefits of 56k is you get to play along as it chug chug chugs the picture one line at a time.


Rod Flanders

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Postby Emma Frost » Sat Mar 15, 2008 10:19 am


Franger_Mat wrote:
Frostie, can I add you to the "We Love Franger" list?


Rebel / Skaven (alphabetical so as not to upset anyone) are joint #1.

There's quite a few others, but I won't embarrass them.


Certainly tiger.
If I was gonna participate in the favourite mod poll, I'd vote for you. :wink:

Kisses.


Barney Gumble
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Postby Franger_Mat » Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:24 am


*If*, *If*, *If*???????


You should be creating dozens of alt IDs to give me a landslide win!


Skaven will PM you the secret fan club site that I do not know about. Please be nice to him, he gets very upset when others come to Franger land.

Enjoy your stay. We have 24 hour room service and there's a small Tahitian boy on call to play the hits of Guns 'n' Roses on nothing but a ukulele, a pair of small bongos and the breasts of a nubile young Russian pole dancer.


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Postby Emma Frost » Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:54 am


After some serious consideration, I decided to cast my vote, in the bestest mod poll, your way Franger.

Sorry Stigasaurus, you definitely win the "Most Improved Mod" award.
Maybe next year! :P


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Postby Franger_Mat » Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:24 pm


O The Stig makes out he's all tough and narly, but he's a good old stick. Frequently misunderstood, but a good old stick.


Thanks Emma. A tasteful basket full of fruits, and possibly non homosexual produce also, is winging its way to your door as we speak.


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Postby SKaVeN » Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:50 pm


You forgot to bump this one, Footz! :wink:


Ned Flanders
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Postby SKaVeN » Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:19 pm


How did this thread end up down here? Oh well, I just found this old article that I thought I'd share. I'm not sure when it was but probably not long before the federal election.

Frankston Inquirer wrote:
In a rather unusual move today, the Honourable Mr Frankston Matthew, founder & leader of the Christians' United National Tory party & Manager/Owner of Frankston's infamous Franger_Mat Towers issued a personally drafted guideline to all the new male voters in his electorate in an effort to help restore what grace & courtesy that he believes is lacking in modern courtship.

An extract of the document is as follows:

Dear young citizen,

So you are going on a first date? Well, this is indeed an exciting event in a young person's life so, in order to help the event transpire pleasantly enjoyably & with the most wholesome Christian outcome, I have created, for you, a useful guideline in order to help you prepare for that important evening.

The most important areas to remember are as follows:

Presentation:

Any respectable young lady will appreciate a little effort in this area. And, remember, good presentation is the key way in showing respect & appreciation for the young lady you will be escorting.

Now, I must confess to feeling as comfortable as the next person lounging about in my greenhouse in my slippers & beige cardigan. On a warm day, to the bemusement of my lady wife, I even often leave the top few buttons undone.

However, this is not how you should aspire to dress to impress a lovely young lady. Something neat & casual yet formal is guaranteed to make you & your young lady the main talking point at the whole dance. I personally find that you just cannot beat a neatly pressed safari suit. I myself have both a lime green & canary yellow one & know that they always make me look super smart. Asking your mother to help you choose the appropriate attire is a useful tip.

You must also make sure that you have just bathed, your teeth fingernails are clean, your hair is neatly combed & parted on one side, you argyle socks are pulled up straight & your shoes are polished & shiny. To complete the ensemble I highly recommend a nice tie (possible paisley or old school striped).

Also make sure that your car has been vacuumed, washed & waxed.

Commencing the Date:

A nice gift for the young lady is a nice gesture or even a bunch of flowers to present to her mother on arrival at her house is bound to impress both her parents. And make sure to always shake her father's hand & make conversation with him by asking how his day was & sharing with him what your plans are for your future. Always address him as "Sir" until you have been invited to do otherwise.

When the young lady is ready to accompany you on your date, tell her how swell she looks & tell her mother that it's easy to see where she gets her "good looks".

Making You Date Feel Comfortable:

Make sure you always open the car door for her & keep her engaged in friendly & interesting conversation. A tip is to prepare & practise some topics of discussion & spend your week practising having these conversations with Mum or Dad.

Remember to ask her which church or Christian group she attends. This is an important point because a young lady who is not a good Christian may expect more than just a friendship at the conclusion of the first date & this is something that nice girls do NOT do! My wife & I were married for four years before we even agreed to share the same bed!

Some music in the car can help make you both feel less nervous. I find that my Max Bygraves, Roger Whittaker & Engelbert Humperdinck cassettes work quite pleasantly (although I do not recommend listening to them too much because too much rock music can lead to drugs).

At the Dance:

Always be attentive to your date. Keep making sure that she is comfortable & whether there is anything that she would like from the refreshments area. Also be very courteous to her female friends & be interested in their conversations & tell them what wonderful wives & mothers they will all make one day.

If there is any alcohol served at the premises & it appears that there may be some ruffians, stay well clear of them! You don't want their sort of tomfoolery ruining your whole evening. But keep a watchful eye on them & if you think that you may have noticed what could be the first sign of hooliganism report it immediately to the nearest authority figure or employee of the establishment.

Finalising the Date:

On the way home remember to tell your young lady how much you enjoyed your evening together. Compliment her on her choice of friends & again on how pretty & elegant she looks. And, if you have time to stop for a milk shake, NEVER allow her to pay for her own! It is both your privilege & honour to treat her.

Make sure you have her home on time &, if her parents are still awake, smile & tell them you hope they had an enjoyable evening.

Then you may make the journey home in the knowledge that you were a courteous date & feel proud that you have behaved accordingly. Then complete your evening by hiring a cheap prostitute for an hour & bang her mercilessly before going to bed.

Good luck on your first date,


Hon. Mr Frankston Seymour Cuthbert Winston Adolf Rasputin Matthew Esquire I MP
Leader/Founder of the Christians United National Tory Party


Ah dear... He always stuffs it up right at the end, doesn't he? :roll:

EDIT: Fixed Franger_Mat Towers link


Last edited by SKaVeN on Wed Jan 21, 2009 6:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.



Ned Flanders
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Postby mr_walker* » Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:53 pm


What, no mention of the dreaded "P" word?


Carl Carlson
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Postby SKaVeN » Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:57 pm


No way! The last time I touched on that subject he got really mad & said he could handle it & then he just kept shouting & swearing & stuff...


Ned Flanders
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Postby SKaVeN » Sun Jan 18, 2009 2:46 pm


Looks like he's off in rehab again. I don't know why they bother. The day he gets out the first thing he always does is buy another bottle of the stuff...


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